Good friends

What makes a good friend?
Is it the number of friends?
Is is the quality?

I have thought about this a lot. I have a few select friends.
I don't have that many, but the ones I do have are quality friends.
They are that listening ear when I need them to be. I am sure I have worn
out my talks about Jeremiah with them, but they are still there to listen.
Some of them have never lost a baby and some of them have. The ones that
have lost babies truly know.

I have one in particular that has never lost a baby,
but she always, always will listen to me about my fears of new pregnancies,
my talk of my sweet boy, she will remember his birthday, and will be there for me.
The thing is she did not even know me when he was born. She met me just shortly before the birth of H. She has been my friend for 4 years and I hope she will be
for the rest of my life. She has introduced me to support groups and has tried to help me throughout everything. She has made things for my kids b-days when she cannot afford to buy them anything. She checks up on me when she knows I have been feeling down. She sends me an instant message almost every morning to see how I am doing. She is a true friend.

I also have a friend that has been with me since I moved 4, almost 5 years ago.
She was one of the people I met when I first moved. I can talk with her about virtually anything. She has been with me through H's birth, 3 miscarriages, and C's birth. She was my rock when C was admitted to the hospital 1 week after she was born. I called her crying my eyes the night she was admitted to the ER and later through the week every time I needed a shoulder to cry on. She has been with me through my fears of pregnancy and after every miscarriage. She knew the day I found out I was pregnant again.

I also have a long time friend. It is funny how he became such a good friend. He was my husbands best man in our wedding. I hardly knew him then and could not believe my husband was picking him and boy am I glad he did. He has been there for us through everything. He could not believe it when I had a 3rd miscarriage and could not figure out why God would let that happen. He is the Godfather to all 4 of our children. He was at our house until 1 in the morning. I thought I felt "funny" and told him if he drove the 45 minutes home that he might have to turn around and come back. I ended up calling him at 4 in the morning in labor with H. He came back and watched "I" and "R" while we went to the hospital. I told him they needed a bath and that I was not going to be able to do that. He gave them each a bath and then came back after H was born and visited. He is great and I hope he and his fiance grow old with us. I cannot wait to be matron of honor and for my husband to be his best man in May when they get married.

Not many people kept in contact with me after we moved. I have one special friend that did. She calls me and I call her to check up on her. She is a high school friend. She was there when I got the news of Jeremiah. She understands to this day what I have gone through. She remembers my kids b-days every year and they get a birthday card and a Target gift card. She is single, but has a large extended family, so this is really special to me that she remembers their birthday every year.

I have 2 other friends that heard of my seizure and how I could not drive for 3 months. They came through for me and offered to drive me places those 3 months. I have one that picks up my kids everyday after school along with her kids. We hang out for about 1/2 an hour to 1 hour when she drops them off. My other friend found out I had the seizure and she offered to pick me up 2 days a week to go get my work to type. She and I have great conversation during our drive. She and I connected in a way that I wish we would not have. Unfortunately we are both baby loss parents. I was at soccer practice and overhead her talking on her phone about pictures of her stillborn son. I decided to go against my norm and walk up to her and tell her my story of Jeremiah. Little did I know what our friendship would develop into. I can only hope that I can be the rock that she needs me to be. Unfortunately less than 1 year after her stillborn son, she had another baby, this time a girl that died 4 hours after she gave birth.

So, even though I have few friends, the friends that I do have,have been there for me. I cherish them and hope to continue my friendship for years to come. I love you guys !!

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Today in church we read my favorite verse. This verse is perfect for me. It is Jeremiah 1:5. It goes "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I dedicated you, a prophet to the nations I appointed you." I have this verse dedicated after my son. This helps me out from time to time. I love to know that God is up there watching over him and knew us all before he formed us in our mother's wombs. (I wish he was down here to celebrate with us). I hear his name a lot at church. This is one of the reasons it is good and bad that I named my kids after biblical names. I hear them a lot and when it is your son who is in heaven I never know what my feelings may be. Will I cry when I hear it, will I rejoice that he is in heaven, will I .... Tonight I just smiled at how much I loved him when I felt his kicks in my womb and thought about him having fun up in heaven. I love you Jeremiah. Take care of your other siblings up in heaven. Good night.