2010

Well, It is 2010 and I have not made a resolution.
I need to make a resolution to keep my house cleaner,
spend more time with my kids,
relax a little more,
be more patient with my kids,
lose another 10 pounds,
exercise more,
call the doctor's that I need to for C,
make an appointment with the epileptologist for me,
smile more,
laugh more,
keep a budget,
cook more healthy meals,
.......
the list goes on and on.

I do not make resolutions anymore because I never stick with them. I think I need to just make a resolution to be an overall better, happier person. I dwell on too much of what others think of me. Since my seizure I have been very humbled. I have always been independent and now that I cannot drive for 3 months, I have to rely on others. My friends have come out of the wood work to help me and I appreciate that very much. I thought that I did not have many friends, but am growing closer and establishing closer bonds with them. I have realized that it is okay to have people help me and it is okay if people don't like me for who I am. I am me and that is what makes me special.

I think overall stress is what made me have the seizure. I bottle things up and I need to get some things off of my chest. I need to talk with my dad and tell him how much he has hurt me in the past. I need to have a talk with my mom as well and let her know how much she has hurt me. I know the high road is the one to take, but I am stuck in the past right now with the things they did to me as a child and I need to let them know, but then again the high road probably is the best one. Life is too short, so I need to make it a happy one for me.

So here is to making 2010 a happier one and to not dwell on the past. (However, I am sure I will be thinking of all of my children up in heaven, I miss you Jeremiah and my other 3 little ones). Cheers to a new year.