Jeremiah's birth story part 2.

I went home later that day and decided to research it.  (Mind you I am living with my in-laws).

I went to the downstairs computer and decided to look up low amniotic fluid.  

What I found scared me to death.  I found the technical term for it is called oligohydramnios.  

Oligohydramnios is a fancy term meaning "too little amniotic fluid."  There can be many causes of this. 

In the last trimester it is nothing to worry about.  They just have to keep an eye on the baby and the amount.

They have to deliver if it gets too low, but the baby will survive.

I kept reading.  I was in my 2nd trimester not my third.  Oh how I longed to be in my third after I read what I read next.  In the 1st and 2nd trimester there is almost always fetal demise.  

I thought "No way, this cannot be happening. My baby will beat the odds."

I continued reading and read that he may have a kidney problem called Potter's syndrome.

Potter's syndrome is where the kidneys do not develop or they develop so abnormally that the baby does not make it a couple of hours after birth.  They cannot do a kidney transplant.  

The kidneys have to be developed right for them to produce urine.  Urine is what makes up most of the amniotic fluid after 12 weeks gestation.  With too little amniotic fluid the baby cannot pass enough through the lungs, thus causing them not to practice breathing and causing abnormalities, etc.  

My husband later came home.  He was not there when I found out that I had too little amniotic fluid. 

He had to go to work and thought everything went well with the ultrasound. 

He came home and had bought a few outfits for Jeremiah.  He was so excited to have another little boy.

He bought a Winnie the Pooh outfit, a pajama outfit with cars on it, and a couple of other outfits.

Those outfits now sit on a bookshelf in my room with his elephant, blanket, and pictures. 

When I saw the outfits I broke down into tears.  I was SO upset.  He told me everything would be alright.

 How I wish I had called the doctor to get confirmation.  But I believed my doctor knew what he was talking about.  I believed that he would have sent me for another ultrasound before the month was up if there was something terribly wrong with my baby.  Oh how I wish I had the aggression it takes to speak up for myself.  For the next month, I lay in bed every night trying to feel him move.  Most nights I did feel him move.  Sometimes I even laid on my stomach to feel him move.  I loved to feel him move.  I thought that if I could feel him move he might be okay.  Later I found out that the day he died I was most likely feeling "phantom movement," like people who feel their arm when it is amputated. I still do not believe that.  I believe his last kick goodbye was the morning of the day that I found out he died. That part is to be continued.  I break it up into sections because I want to make sure I get the feelings out and I know it is way too long of a story to be put into one post. 

The day I found out, part 3 to be continued ...